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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I love my cat.

Do you like cats?


But they're so adorable and fluffy and cute!

..and evil. Don't forget evil.

Cats are not evil.

Evil, I tell you.

What has a cat ever done to you?

Nothing. A cat hasn't ever done something for me, either. They just sit around all day and only care about themselves.

Then you like dogs, then.

I don't know. Not really.


Yeah, I don't like dogs.

You don't like any animals?

I like people. Do you like people?

Not so much.

What about your family? You must love your family.

Eh. I don't even enjoy spending time with them. There's no point of relationship.. that's the wrong word. I mean, I can't relate to them.

Like the Calvin and Hobbes strip. "Related to people I can't relate to."

Yeah, that's right.

That's sorta sad.

What about you? What's your family like?

How should I know? You invented me. You tell me if I have a family.

Oh, um. I didn't really think you through that much.

There you go.

That's a pretty lousy imagination, if you ask me. How hard is it to come up with a background?

You know why I love my cat? I love my cat because he jumps up on my lap and rolls over and just wants me to scratch his tummy, and if I do that he's happy. I can't make a person happy.

You're right about that. You didn't even give me a background, how am I supposed to be happy?

Oh, all right.

I'm like, the girl from nowhere. Dropped out of the sky, no connections to anyone. Oh, so tragic a figure am I.

Let's say you're from an alternate dimension where there's three genders.

Ooh, I like it.

So you've got fifteen-and-a-half siblings, and all of them are this third gender which is totally useless here on Earth.

What are their names?

You want names?

Yeah. The oldest is named Frog.


Oh, Froggy. I loved her, I mean it, so much.

I thought you said you didn't like animals.

That's my sibling you're talking about!

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to offend.

Yes! I am offended. I am devastated by your rudeness.

Right. So you've got three parents, and they hate you

They do not! They love me very much.

Oh, okay. If you want to be all mushy about it.

I insist.

So they sent you off to this dimension, um, because. Hm. The not-hating-you part really messes up your origin story.

Maybe I'm going to college here.

Sure, why not. So you miss them all very much, but every few days you jump right back in your little portal and you all stand around and sing songs and dance.

Okay, that's much too far with the mushiness.

Hey, don't discredit the songs and the dances. I hear your area has the greatest dances in any reality.

You know, I can't dance.

Hey, who's telling this story?

Ha ha! I can dance better than anyone.

Yep. The only source of tension in your family is all the jealousy at how well you dance.

Hmmm. I like that.



Thought I might as well jump by and say hey.
This wasn't half-bad. I still can't say though that I understand your attraction to cats. It might be easy to make them happy, but why on earth would you want to?

I like dogs because they make me happy. I suppose that makes me a narcissist.

My serious thoughts, for what they're worth, are that nobody can make anybody (human) happy. You can make someone feel loved and respected, but happiness is something they have to proactively find themselves. It's what separates us from the cats.

In any case, I'm going to be here, making sure your posting is up to standard. Cheers.

It makes me happy to make Pussywillow happy. So it all leads back to selfishness eventually. But I guess, on reflection, I don't really understand why it makes me happy to make him happy. It might be because I identify with his general laziness and mostly solitary nature. I can't be happy that easily, but I can settle for his happiness.

..or something.

It's good to have you around. Why didn't you tell me you'd started blogging?


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