I've been mildly depressed lately. This may have to do with me being sick, or my general feeling of uselessness, or some combination of that. Or maybe it's a chemical reaction to all the medicine I've been taking.
My body picked a really terrible time to turn sick. I've had lots of performances of 1776, and I'd been told to be louder even before that. Now, walking onto stage with slight dizziness is no big deal. But walking onto stage with a hurting throat- that's scary. So I've got the third-least important role in the entire play, and I was worried about whether or not I'd be able to pull it off.
I did, which surprisingly didn't make me feel much better.
It was Purim yesterday, which meant I read the Megillah again. I don't feel like sticking in a link; just trust me that I've talked about Megillah-reading on this blog before. My throat wasn't fully healed yet, but it was well enough to do all the voices and entertain the congregation.
Surprisingly, I didn't feel much better after that.
Or maybe it's not surprising at all. This acting stuff, that's just a side dish. Where's the main course? Where's the game?
The ugly truth is, I haven't been working on it. I have no valid excuses, I just haven't. I haven't thrown up a hundred "No work done." posts, because I want to figure out a way to work without the blog. The blog's not going to be here forever, so relying so much on it seems unhealthy. Not that the nothing I've been doing is healthy in any way.
I think I need a calendar, where I write what I did every day. That might work.