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Friday, July 01, 2005

Good Riddance

Dear Imaginary Friends,

I am free. The graduation ceremony was last night. "Preparation for the Real World" is now officially over. The event was strangely depressing, though. I should have been overjoyed that I would never have to set foot in that building again, overjoyed that I would never see those kids again and have to worry about my lack of a relationship with them. But all I could feel was guilt. Guilt that I had not tried harder with my classmates. I kept thinking: "Go talk with them, you idiot. This is your last chance." But what did I have to talk about with them? Show them Wario Ware: Twisted? They certainly wouldn't have cared. Make smalltalk? Sure, I know how that goes:
"How are you?"
"I'm fine."



So I stayed away, and felt miserable for it. We were all handed yearbooks, with photos of each student and words written by a friend summing up his personality. I had brought no photo, and had no friend. I keep telling myself that it's for the best- were my name in the yearbook, it would indicate that I had been there, in the same world as the rest of the grade. That is clearly a lie. So it is appropriate, but still painful to be reminded so inescapably that in the eyes of my two-year colleagues, I do not exist.

What do I do now, with no school to bind me? As little as possible, I hope. I'm watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine from start to finish and am finding to my surprise that it is exactly as bad as I remember. Better, I am filling in the blanks of our Star Trek: Voyager collection, and I had forgotten quite how good this show was. I'm starting to watch Quantum Leap, too, a cute and light show. I always look forward to Eli's visits (Eliav lives a few doors away), because I've been introducing him to so many great experiences: Zelda, Tallon IV, Fire Emblem, Battlestar Galactica, Beyond Good & Evil, Ball Revamped. I also just lent him the Flash Gordon tapes (the original), and I hope he finds it as amusing as I did. (As I told him, if he is capable of taking it seriously then there is something seriously wrong with him.) There's nothing so satisfying as giving someone else a fun experience, and it is helping me to appreciate my favorite games better by seeing them through a new perspective.

Anyway, that's my life. How are you guys doing?



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