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Friday, March 18, 2005

VI: The elimination of unworthy life

My father wanted me to mow the lawn.

It was so pretty, so full of interesting plants, so alive. There was grass, and weeds, and clovers. And he wanted me to cut it all down. Now, I am not an enviromentalist, against cutting down anything at all for the sake of progress, but this is different. If it needed to be cut to make room for something else, I could understand. If it needed to be cut because it was preventing something else from growing, I could understand. If it needed to be cut because someone was allergic to something there, I could understand. But when I asked my father, "Why do you want to cut it all down?", he replied, "It doesn't belong there." Those plants had been growing there for months, and would continue to grow chaotically until the lawn became even prettier. Naturally, I refused to go along with him.

Two days ago, (almost immediately after I had written my last post) my father came to me with a proposal. I should first explain that my monitor, which I had liked a good deal, broke down less than a week ago for apparently no reason at all. I have since been using a fifteen-year-old piece of trash which can't do any resolutions above 640x480 and which, no matter how much I try to tweak the graphics card's settings, can't get colors right. My monitor was especially missed for Myst IV- it had broken down when I was halfway through, and I've had to play the rest of it (I finished it yesterday) with this monitor which predates the entire series. I've been dreading the prospects of having to continue using this monitor, as I have no means to get money. Enter my father's suggestion that he would pay to fix my broken monitor if I study for my tests. I was surprised, to say the least, to hear such a clever parenting trick from my father. And then I went to Dr. Elmaleh for another counselling session and found out, understandably, that it was he who had planted the idea in my father's head. But I suppose it does not matter at this point in time which of them can use minimal brainpower when it comes to destroying my life. At this point in time, what matters is that the damage has been done. The two games cannot compete when an artificial need has been created for them to cooperate. That conflict has been postponed, although I fully intend to get back to it later on in this blog. Until then, I will do whatever is necessary to ensure that I will still be here to share it with you, my dear Imaginary Friends.



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