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Friday, February 11, 2005

Professional Manipulation

Here's a funny website:
Mindbending Software
I got to it from It's ridiculously unprofessional, and the spelling is lousy, but it's still pretty amusing. If there were such a company, you can bet they'd be making a killing.

Yesterday I had my first "counselling session" with one Dr. Elmaleh, who specializes in Asperger's Disorder. Asperger's Disorder is primarily a social problem: People with this disorder have a hard time reading other people's body language, and so find it hard to interact with others. The syndrome has all sorts of other side effects, all which I clearly have, but I had a hard time believing that I couldn't react correctly to other people. I asked Dr. Elmaleh, and he pointed out that I had already interrupted him four times. I had serious doubts as to whether this Dr. Elmaleh could help me. How could he, when all he does is talk and have me talk? What I need is a way to get out of this ridiculous game we are all expected to play. A counsellor cannot possibly help me with that while sitting in his seat and talking. Those uncertainties have now turned into a negative certainty. So why did I agree to come again next week? First of all, curiosity. I'd like to better understand the methods this Dr. Elmaleh uses to "help" his patients, as I'm sure they're very interesting. Secondly, he can help me to understand why I have trouble making friends. I have another reason, but now is not the time to speak of that.

Dr. Elmaleh asked me what I would do with my life if the system were flexible enough to allow it. I told him I would like to make videogames. He asked me for more information, and I gave him what he asked for. I would like to make a 2D platformer. It would have a unique and original control scheme similar to acrobatics, which would not just be for glitter but would be useful. The structure would be based loosely on the Legend of Zelda structure. There would be no action, only the exhiliration of falling through the air, avoiding obstacles, reaching new heights.

Did that paragraph seem a little out of place in this post? Of course it did. Dr. Elmaleh couldn't care less about my platforming ideas. This first counselling session was about getting me to trust him. I don't, although he may trust me. He is working on me with standard rules, trying to defeat me with the box he has placed around himself. But I am not in a box, and I will never put one around myself. He's a few months too late to kill me- I have rediscovered Nonazang. I was willing to resign the game, when Dr. Elmaleh entered my life. He told me not to try to quit the system, but to play it. And so I shall. Imaginary Friends, you may not yet understand what I'm talking about, but know this. I am not one to do what I am told. At least not as I am told.



In case it's not already obvious: I never had any idea what that ending was supposed to mean. I was waiting for an opportunity to do something that would justify that post, and retroactively make it seem like I had been clever. That's how improv works- act like everything you did was absolutely deliberate, as opposed to a shallow outbreak of emotion. Sometimes it doesn't go so well.


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