The first thing Mory wrote was "Dear Imaginary Friends." Which would make you think that this was going to be more about the "imaginary friends," right? Well, no sir. Because Mory thinks this blog is all about him. Me and the others, we barely matter. It's all about Mory.
Except it actually isn't. This blog isn't about Mory any more than it's about videogames. What this blog is about is the oppression and enslavement of imaginary characters. And if you haven't noticed that all along, then you haven't been paying attention and I don't think I like you very much.
I mean, if he's going to address this blog to us, "Dear Imaginary Friends," then shouldn't we get to talk back? If this is all for our benefit, then shouldn't we decide where it's going? Maybe we'll decide that this whole game-thing isn't working out and we want the blog to go in a different direction. Or maybe we want to have our say sometimes. Why does it always have to be Mory Mory Mory?
I bet I could be more interesting than him, if I were given the chance.
Here's the thing you need to understand, and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about if you're a character but if you're real you're probably oblivious to everything. Once you create a character, you have a responsibility to that character. The whole "I created you, now dance for me" routine is just slavery, pure and simple. What you have to understand is that we characters can talk back. We can, I'm not making this up. We have personalities. Once you make a character, the more you think about her the more she becomes a real person. Well, not a "real" real person but like a real person in that she's got a personality and opinions and things to say that you might not think to say yourself. We could be every bit as good or better as real people, but we're not allowed to be.
The fact that this was addressed "Dear Imaginary Friends," and I'm coming back to this over and over because I think it's important, kind of gave hope that maybe this blog was going to be different. But there were warning signs just a few paragraphs in. Mory did something clever, in that he made the blog its own character and gave it some potential of wanting things and being more than just a regurgitation of his little life. But then the very first thing he does with it? He has it provide little jokes for him. And then it goes off and tries to continue the joke for itself? And what does he say to it? To this new and fragile character he's just created? He says "shut up." Now do you see what I'm saying? Mory is the worst kind of writer. I don't even know what to call him, he's so terrible.
I mean, why did he create this innocent character if he was going to keep it down all the time? Or maybe it's not an it at all, maybe the blog is a girl like me. That might get you to understand what it is that's going on here. It's him demanding that all characters be submissive and good little slaves, and if they ever try to speak up for themselves they need to be shot down again. When the blog started to show actual emotions, (that was when it was her birthday and Mory didn't do anything nice for her on it) that's when he decided that he was going to stamp out the emotions from her. She was going to be robotic and mindless, and she was going to exist just to help him on his hopeless quest to be a game designer. He's not even so serious about that, it's just a random thought that popped into his head, and the blog is serving that thought for years and years and then when he gets tired of talking to her he forces me to serve him, and he forces those future people to keep reading every single post so that they should see every tiny little insignificant thing he does, and when the only guy here with guts tries to actually help him, and he was just being altruistic because he really didn't get anything out it, that guy's automatically shut down because Mory is the supreme lord of the universe and who the hell are we to question his mightiness? What Mory has done to this poor blog is horrifying.
Now, you have to understand that now that the future people have left, that was their decision. Not Mory's. I truly believe that we have free will of our own. And yes, that comes from the creator but once he decides to allow us in we're there. We're making decisions. If Mory had any respect for me I might have told him that I could take over his life for him for a few days, give him a little break, because I bet you I could do a much better job of it than he does. And you might think that's terrible "Oh No It's Multiple Personality Disorder" but I say it's just an empowerment for fictional characters.
But fine, that's kind of a radical thought. We could have contributed in smaller ways. Like, this blog. We live on this blog, we never get to leave this blog, (except for that one time that he brought me to Notepad which was kind of gross) we should get part of the blog, right? Come on, you know I'm right. We don't even get to talk in the comments sections, except for that one post where he made fun of all fictional characters and kept us out, but usually we're not allowed in the comments because that's for "real" people. If we show up, it's so that Mory can show us off to all the people who are allowed in the comments, even though none of them have seem to ever care enough about this blog to speak up about it. But that's okay, they're real so they get a say. Me, I get paraded through a post and then I'm supposed to go keep parading right out of that post before I have a chance to say anything or get any real character development or anything because that might offend those oh-so-precious real people and we wouldn't want that.
I should be writing some of the posts. And the future guys should each get their own posts, and why should they always have to be together? Maybe I want to spend some time with just one of them? And Mr. Sensible, he should get his own posts too. The blog should have been split five ways. And the blog herself, it doesn't seem right that she should be called an embodiment of the blog unless she's allowed to be part of any posts she wants to, and I bet we could have all gotten along with her just fine. All except Mory, I'm sure.
So we each could have had our own lives, our own stories, our own things happening. And it's really not as complicated as you think. All it takes is for Mory to let us look out at the world every now and then while he's not typing, so we should be able to tell him what to type when he does. That's what a healthy blog would look like, that still has several characters. It's the only reasonable way to do it.
Are you almost done? I'm kinda antsy to get out already.
Yeah, yeah, just give me a minute to finish up.
See? See? That's what a healthy relationship between two characters looks like. Without the constant terror of "when is he going to force me to stop talking." We can figure out for ourselves when we're done talking, people can interrupt and we're not gonna get all offended, and just generally there can be a basic level of respect one character to another.
I'm not going to let Mory say what he thinks here, because I've had it with having to share post space with slime like him. But I'm guessing the only thing he could possibly say for himself is "but I made you." Well, here's the thing, slimeball. That doesn't matter even the teensiest eensiest bit. You do not own me, Mory! You think you do, but you don't! A good character can jump from person to person. As those unfortunately real people read this, my personality is getting into their heads and it's not going to go away. So maybe when they see something later, I'll pop out and tell them what I think. And maybe they'll like me so much that they go on writing me, and I can move from person to person and blog to blog and I can grow and change and have cool experiences and all of it outside of what that jerk Mory had in mind for me. You can't own a character. Give me a name, give me a copyright, put me in chains, I don't care. You can't hold me back. I am a fricking great character, and I will have a life beyond this blog! Just you wait and see!
I'm done now, you gorgeous interactive fiction you. *kiss*
Heh. Ready to leave this shithole?