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If you choose to continue, be warned
That you are missing crucial elements
Of I Am Not's design.

~I Am That Future Self

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Am That Future Self

I've had plenty of ideas for games over the years. The earliest one I remember is Squeak, a Warcraft-clone where all the rodents in the world band together to take over the world. When I was 12 I spent a lot of time with my friend Tuvia planning out every detail of the cutscenes, though not much thought went into the game itself. The whole point of that idea was escapism. We felt like we were trapped in the school system, and wanted control of our own lives. So instead of going to class, we wandered around the campus and discussed the dilemma of mice trying to defeat their giant hunters.

I've changed. I've got lots of ideas for games now, but almost none of them are simple escapism. They all have a bit of reality in them, and sometimes more than a bit. Now that I think of it, I don't even know if 12-year-old me would like some of the games I want to make. He wanted to take the mundane and make it extraordinary; I want to take the extraordinary and make it mundane. It's the quiet moments that interest me now, not the noisy ones.

I used to lie awake at nights wondering how I'd change as I got older. What scared me was, I couldn't control my future self. My identity back then could later be completely buried under layers of responsibility and common-sense until all that's left is a boring adult. Who was this person, to think he could take over my life?

Well, that's me, really. The usurper. Sorry, kid.