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Friday, January 06, 2006

The Dream Cheese 740 Enhanced Computer Mouse!

Tired of your old plain vanilla PC mouse?
Of course you are! The mouse hasn't changed in decades! Look at this boring piece of plastic you're using: Two buttons in the front which have only two possible settings: "Unpressed" and "Pressed". This is as primitive as your keyboard!
And what's the problem-
So old-fashioned! And then this scroll wheel: It can only scroll in one dimension! And it's uncomfortable to use, and it's downright ugly.
Hey, it works, doesn't-
Not well, no. It's tedious to keep flicking it around; it's imprecise. And it's uncomfortable- try scrolling through a fifty-page document, and by the end your middle finger will be sore! And then there's the shape of the whole thing- it's impossible to get a good grip!

But no longer! Now, thanks to the revolutionary Dream Cheese 740 Enhanced Computer Mouse, these old problems can be left behind forever! With its innovative and groundbreaking design, you can access your computer like never before. You can enjoy faster and more precise navigation, plus an unparallelled level of customizability which will allow you to control your computer exactly as you want. The top of the line features of the Dream Cheese 740 include:
  • A pressure-sensitive touch screen for standard mouse clicks, making application-specific commands available at the smallest touch
  • Patented TrueScroll™ analog joystick technology for fast, precise and comfortable scrolling in two dimensions
  • Keyboard-replacement capability for one-handed control of all and any computer activity
  • Ultra-sensitive optical sensor for accurate movement on virtually any surface
  • Replaceable shell to allow for any hand size, making using a computer as comfortable and natural as possible for anyone*
    Extra shells not included.
  • Four pressure-sensitive buttons for-
Why pressure-sensitive?
Because pressure-sensitive is cool, that's why. The Dream Cheese 740 has a stylish de-
Boy, it looks dorky-
stylish design, combining the familiar computer mouse appearance with a radical, trend-setting commitment to innovation: By featuring a shape which curves downwards for all but the thumb and index finger, it gives unparalleled grip for the ultimate precision in mouse movement.
Well, that's sort of cool, but all this other stuff- it sounds expensive. How much does it cost?
And it's worth every penny! Buy the Dream Cheese 740 Enhanced Computer Mouse today!

How to use your Dream Cheese 740
For standard clicks and double-clicks, simply tap or double-tap on the touch pad beneath your index finger. For more advanced functions such as copy, paste, undo, or delete, enter the appropriate gesture or letter into the touch pad, as demonstrated in diagram 3.

Example: To copy text, first select the text by tapping and dragging (and scrolling, if necessary). Then, move the cursor over the selected text draw a "C" on the touch pad, and the text will be copied.
Alternatively, do not select any text, but move over a text field or document and draw a "C" on the touch pad. This will copy all text within the text field or document.

For a full list of gestures, see Page 5.
For instructions on creating custom gestures using the included software, see Page 12.

Holding Button 3 (diagram 5) activates a small menu revealing all possible gestures on the cursor's current position.

Using the TrueScroll™ Thumb Stick
When the cursor is above a document too large for the window it is in, the thumb stick is used to scroll through the document in any direction. The TrueScroll™ thumb stick is sensitive to different levels of movement, so pushing it very gently will scroll slowly, and pushing it all the way will scroll more quickly. (See Page 12 to learn how to customize mouse and thumb stick sensitivity using included software.) When the cursor is not above a scrollable environment, the thumb stick will serve as an analog replacement for the keyboard's arrow keys.



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