Pesach's coming up. The fact that I'd start a post on such a banal note should say a lot as to how unremarkable this week is going to be. The fact that I'm analyzing what I'm saying without actually having said anything should be another clue. I'm warning you now, this is a waste of a post. You won't miss anything if you skip it. Seriously. I mean, I'm not going to say anything important. I rarely have anything important to say on Fridays. Now, today may not technically be a Friday, but it sure feels like it. Every day until Pesach will feel like a Friday. The girls are home making noise. Not exactly the best environment for creativity. There's this sense that I'm being pushed into doing work, that just sitting and relaxing is not acceptable. From that, naturally, comes the need to procrastinate. I'm doing that by writing this post. Sure, this post doesn't actually say anything, but it's a tool, you see, a tool. A tool for procrastination. See, the longer I keep this post going, the longer I have an excuse to not work. And everything feels like work- my mother even manages to make eating feel like work, by making it so clear how much chametz we have to get rid of. So I'm putting off lunch. I guess I'll have to eat after this post. What a shame that I have nothing to say, because I really need this post to go on for a while. Okay, so I don't really need it, but it would be nice. Or rather, the alternative would not be nice. Is the negation of something not nice nice? Maybe. Will I have to end this post soon? Definitely. Hmmm, can't talk about the weather too much, it's boring today. How 'bout gamism? I had planned to- nah, not the best time for writing something like that. You know the really funny part of all this? Okay, so it's not really funny, but it's sort of strange. Anyway, what's kind of funny is that writing this post is starting to feel tedious. It feels like my duty to procrastinate. It feels like work. Bleh. So I could stop working on this post- no, no- then I'd have to do real work. What, like eating? Yeah,.. no! No. Hey, wait a minute, when did I decide you could split into two characters without line breaks? Eah, whatever. And I'll have to wrap this up- You can only go on for so long about absolutely nothing. There must be a point where you just can't keep blabbering on, right? You know, when it occurs to you that you've got absolutely nothing to say? Because after you realize that, you couldn't possibly keep talking, right? That would just be awkward.
Okay, this is awkward. Maybe I shouldn't have started this post to begin with. But actually, maybe it's a good thing. The blog's a reflection of my life, right? And the way this post is going, it's completely expendable, right? You know, talk is cheap and all that. And on Fridays, even week-long Fridays, life feels cheap. It fits. Good. I'm so glad I settled that. I wouldn't want to be worrying about cheapening the value of the blog without good reason. And I guess this is as good a reason as any. I wonder if I could squeeze an interactive dialogue in here somehow, just to give myself an excuse to continue the post? Nah, too much work. Anyway, as I was saying (though was I actually saying anything?), it really feels like a Friday. So much so, that I'm expecting bourekas for lunch. Sure, I know it's not Friday, but tell that to my stomach. Or don't- that would be pretty weird. Oh no, I'm boring my readers to death. Then again, there are two reasons not to worry about that. First of all, my readers listened to me when I said, back at the beginning of this post, to skip it. My readers trust me, see. They know that when I say I'm about to waste a post I'm about to waste a post. And they have better things to do with their time than read a waste of a post. So my readers aren't actually reading this. Secondly, and this is a crucial point, I don't actually have any readers. Okay, so I have one or two, but there are two reasons I can say I don't have any readers. First of all, they're smart enough not to be reading this, so they won't be offended. I mean, how can you be offended by something you haven't read? Secondly, I'm rounding it to the nearest five. That's an acceptable thing to do, no? You hear about seventy-four of something, and you're asked how many it is, you say seventy-five. Because who really cares about the other one, right? Sure, that one might be crucial in reality (say, if you're talking about people), but it's not reality, it's just numbers. So it's perfectly alright for me to say that I have zero readers. Or say the time is 1:02. Would you say it's "one o'two", or would you say it's "one o'clock"? Now, there is a small chance that you might say it's "one o'two", but I can ignore that for two reasons. First of all, the fact that you might say it that way doesn't negate the validity of rounding it down. Secondly, you're not reading this, so what difference does it make how you personally would say it? ...and now that I've put that in the wrong order, I can't continue to a fourth branch. So I've got nothing left to say. Of course, it could be said (and I do believe I've said already) that I had nothing to say to begin with. But now I really have nothing to say. Bleh, Fridays.