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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Late-night thoughts, none of them new

I'm not like them! I'm not like you!

I've got ideas. I've got, I've got

Hey, where are you going?

Stay. I want to argue.


I don't need them. They won't let me argue.

They think it's bad to be outspoken and alone.

Who needs them? Some day I'll meet a whole

group of people with Asperger's!


It's gonna happen.

Any one of these days.

"Aspies" like games.

So if I make my own games, and they're not like anyone else's, and people are put off by how not what they're looking for they are, and I put a piece of myself into the games, and they stand up to the world and shout "I am great, because this has never been done before, and there's no reason you shouldn't do it too!" and if they have genuine enthusiasm for what they're doing, then the "Aspies" will all come to meet me.

I don't need normal people!
I can hang out with people like me!
I can talk to people like me!

Or this wall here.

Does anyone want to play with an adorable character given life?

It won't try to impress you.

I won't try to sell it to you.

I won't try to engage you.

I won't listen to you.

I don't care about you.

Play my game.

I see it there.

It winks at me: "I am here, just waiting to be made!

"I will shine like the stars in the darkness!"

And it's so close.

So close.

Only a few more pages left.

I spent the day working.

I wanted to get closer.

May the emptiness drive me.

I don't like programming, all the logic and little details.

It's a chore.

It's a form of hell.

But isn't that work I did just fine?

Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?

Isn't it?

It isn't, is it.

Why am I talking. It's just me and the wall.

No, it's me and myself.

I am not…

Please come back.

I want to argue.

It's just me and myself in here.

I love myself.

I hate myself.

I have potential.

I am a lazy bum.

I have ideas.

I talk and talk and when the time comes to do

I spent the day working.

They say there are few things more satisfying

They're wrong.

I'd like to go back now.

I have other worlds.

Is it just me, or are they more real?

I didn't play any videogames today.

The seventh day will be satisfying.

Though of course it won't be.

Please come back.

I'm not like you.

Let me tell you who I am.

Let me tell you where I'm going.

I have an answer now!

I don't need you!

Please come back.