I don't get to see many movies. The genres I am limited to are sci-fi/superhero blockbuster and Pixar animation. There are two major Israeli theater chains: Rav Chen and G.G. Gil. The former is good; the latter is so bad (with horrendous audio and tiny screens) that I much prefer to watch on my computer. At home, I get to see movies when someone from the family is kind enough to buy me a DVD (as my grandparents, who are visiting now, got me 2001: A Space Odyssey). If I see there is no chance in the Real World I am ever going to see a movie fairly, and I haven't had all the enthusiasm for seeing it sucked out of me, I download it illegally off the internet. This is how I get to see movies when I do (and I don't often).
I loved the first two X-Men movies. I got to see them because they are superhero movies- otherwise I never would have. I knew that the third, X-Men: The Last Stand, had a different director and different writers. I saw the trailers and thought they looked ridiculous. I learned that the premise of the movie was a mish-mash of various completely unrelated ideas from the comics. And I heard that it was fun to watch. I wasn't all that interested; I'd see it, someday, downloaded off the internet, if I hadn't forgotten about it by then.
Dena wanted to go see X-Men: The Last Stand. I had heard that it was fun to watch. It's showing at Rav Chen. I agreed to go with her. She wanted to go on Tuesday, which is to say tomorrow. I figured I was always free, so it was as good a day as any. On Sunday, the two of us rewatched X-Men, and today we watched X2. When you see movies as rarely as I do, seeing a movie -any movie- becomes an event worthy of such build-up. The two films were, as is the case with most really good works, better than I had remembered. (You only remember the bigger picture.) I was genuinely excited to be going.
Rav Chen is a good theater. It is also very inaccessible to us. It is in Jerusalem, which means we would need to take a bus to Jerusalem which takes an hour, give or take a little. (There is no one who might drive us.) Once in Jerusalem, it takes another half hour to get (by a second bus) to the theater, give or take a little. Dena gets out of her school (as on all days) pretty late. We would have just an hour and a half from leaving the house to the time the movie starts.
This is when my mother intervened.
Did you have your heart set on seeing it tomorrow?
Dena, you may not get out of school earlier- What am I supposed to write on the note, "Let her out to see X-Men"?
But it's such nonsense!
It's not the note that's the problem!
It's all such nonsense!
You could watch it another day!
Would you die if you didn't see this movie?
It's impossible to get there in time!
You're going to take my money to watch this?
And what are you doing for supper? I'm not paying for-
If your spoiled brat of a brother didn't need to-
If your spoiled brat of a brother-
There's no way you can get there in time. No way.
Thirty seconds late? That's not worst case scenario, that's best case-
More like a half hour late, you mean-
What are you talking about? It's a thriller- you won't keep watching if you miss-
I am not going to pay for you to go to this movie twice just because-
YES, YOU ARE GOING TO WANT TO GO TO THIS TWICE BECAUSE YOU'LL MISS THE FIRST HALF HOUR AND-
What are you talking about-
That's funny- you'd watch the movie like that?-
And why am I supposed to pay for this nonsense?-
-pay for this nonsense-
-this nonsense-
It's all such nonsense!
I am not trying to stop you from going- I'm just thinking of all scenarios so that you won't be disappointed-
I don't know how else you could go- In theory, Grandma & Grandpa could drive you- BUT THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW BECAUSE THEIR CELL PHONE IS OFF AND THEY NEVER LET ME KNOW ANYTHING SO THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY TO KNOW AND WOULD IT KILL YOU TO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE?
No, you may not see a later showing! No way.
And do you know which bus you're supposed to be taking??
And do you know which bus stop to take?
No you don't, you don't know which bus stop to take-
And how do you know you'll get there in time-
And what do you think you're going to be doing for supper
-spoiled brat of a brother-
I don't have a car-
FINE! I'LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE MONEY AND THAT'S IT! I'M NOT PAYING FOR FOOD AND IF YOU MISS THE FIRST HOUR THAT'S OKAY AND IT'S ALL SUCH NONSENSE!
Why should I have to fight my mother to get to see a movie? It's just a movie- is that so much to ask for? And it's not really worth it...
I keep telling myself that nothing has changed. We are still set to go tomorrow, my mother is still (however reluctantly) going to pay for it (I have no money to spare of my own.), it should still be a fun movie. But everything has changed. It's turned from a fun event into a guilt-ridden nightmare. I can't just enjoy the movie now- I have to spend the entire time watching thinking of how to spin the fact that it's not the greatest movie ever made so that I can pretend it was worth the fight. Because when you're not that enthusiastic to begin with, and you have to fight to get there, it's never worth it.
I don't get to see many movies.
3 Comments:
It was excellent. Not much like the first two at all, but excellent in its own way.
The first two were provocative sci-fi. They were sophisticated and nuanced. They had very tight plotting. They had one foot in reality.
X-Men: The Last Stand is none of these things. Its metaphors are watered-down recitations of the more powerful ideas in the comics, thrown in to keep you entertained and then quickly pulled away as soon as they've registered so they shouldn't bore anyone. Its morality is muddled, with a villain easier to agree with than the heroes and an ending which doesn't really resolve any issues. It is packed with one-liners and fun action. The plot isn't terribly coherent, is full of holes, uses a "everything-but-the-kitchen-sink" mentality to decide what goes in, and feels completely unresolved at the end. And all this is done in an over-the-top style with one foot in the 60's comics.
And I loved it. It never fails to be spectacularly entertaining. When it was tense, I was squirming in my seat. During action scenes, you couldn't have peeled my eyes off the screen with claws. The climax was breathtaking. Taken as an action movie, WOW!
If I were more of an X-Men (comic) fan, I'd probably be furious at how much they've messed up the series by the end. But I'm not, so I'm not. After the credits was a cliffhanger of sorts for the next movie. I look forward to it.
Taken as an event, this was a good day. First the two of us went with our grandparents to the restaurant (and I use the term loosely) Village Green. The food was good, but very bland, and I'll know better next time. Then we rushed to the theater. I don't know what Dena thinks of the movie, because she refuses to say. I hate it when people do that!
Unfortunately, we didn't have enough money. Dena had three sheqels too few to get us back to Beit Shemesh. So our grandparents drove us back home, in what was an overly long trip because of one lousy wrong turn and the "no U-turn" signs. I'm glad I'm not a driver.
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