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If you choose to continue, be warned
That you are missing crucial elements
Of I Am Not's design.

~Mory, Mory, Quite Contrary, How Does Your Garden Grow?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Mory, Mory, Quite Contrary, How Does Your Garden Grow?

Let's sum up this embarrassment of the blogosphere, shall we? Once upon a time there was a pathetic excuse for a person. His name was Mory. He sat around all day and did nothing but whine and think too much. And he said: "Ooh! I think I should share my misery with the rest of the human race! What fun!" And he wrote this blog. At one point he made two games, and they were crap. But still, they were games and they worked when you ran them, and for a split-second I thought that there was hope for the guy, for this pathetic little miserable ball of shit named Mory. But no. He went back to whining and moping and doing nothing.

At this point, I'm not sure
I disagree with your assessment.

My day is complete, I've heard the opinion of Mory's little imaginary future-guy.

Not sure...?!

The blog isn't worthless, it led to me. And by the way, you left out the part where Mory's a self-centered jerk who creates characters, uses them, and then disposes of them. I mean, take these future guys-

How can you think he hasn't made progress?

-how long has it been

Wait 'til she stops talking, I can't hear myself think.

since the last post they were in? I bet it was pretty darned long. And what have they been doing all this time? That's right, they've just been sitting and sipping their coffee and reading this blog! Never a break, never a moment to themselves, because that single task of reading the blog is the only task their selfish creator thought to give them. Now that's a tragedy, a tragedy, but only imaginary people like us would see it for what it is. They're consigned to a one-note existence, all because their creator never bothered to give them more. And the only way we can stop things like that is by getting together and making a unified stand against it! We need to start some sort of protest group and just hijack every post he tries to make. We need some sort of name.
Sure, babe.

Okay, here's the thing.
This blog has just been continually frustrating.
Don't bother to disagree, you know I'm right.
This is still part 2 of the blog, right?
That started in, what was it, August 2007.
That means that at the time of this post we're up to,
part 2 has been more than two years.
And the point of part 2, as he set it up,
was that he was going to change to be more like
the Buckman that we're reading through this to

27 months.

27..?

27 months since the beginning of part 2.

Right, 27 months.
See, that's what I'm talking about.
It's too slow.
And now he might as well have never even started part 2,
he's practically back where he was before it.
I just don't see where he's going.

But we know he's

Yes, of course we know.
But it's getting really frustrating that he's still so far from that.
He's worrying so much about that silly little play,
like that's what matters in the grand scheme of things.

How about "Imaginary People's Rights"? No, I don't like it either, it needs to be catchier.

And take this post here. This is, what's the date here.. November 19 2009. Right. And what was the date he said he was going on that second trip thing.. November 23. So this is four days before that, he should be working like crazy to finish up as much of The March of Bulk as he can, but instead he's pulled out all his toys and is playing around with them.

Did you just call me a toy?! I am not a toy! I am a fictional character, who's just been taken advantage of!

My apologies, ma'am.

Oh yeah, now you're so classy! A few seconds ago you were calling me a toy!
Hey, cool it, cool it. He's an idiot, but he didn't mean anything.
He certainly did!

You see? This is entirely pointless.

Are you sure?

Entirely pointless.
I'm thinking maybe we should just stop reading.

Oh, come on!
At this point he is working on the game,
he just isn't posting anything about it because there's nothing new to post. I'm sure that's what it is. And he'll be done soon, and part 2 will wrap up, and I bet it'll be really interesting.
We've been reading this far, we can't stop now.

Oh fine, we can read a bit more.
I hope you're right.

I am.

You're not.
I agree. There's no way a guy like Mory knows a way out of the mess he's made for himself. He thinks he's so smart, but really he doesn't think about any of the things that matter.